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Finding Dates

Wonderful post. It's so easy to get into the habit of just "assuming" your partner knows exactly what you want.


BTW, anyone in the Portland, OR area you could refer to would be fabulous. None on your map.


I stumbled across your "I Don't Want to Talk About It" through another book, "Depression Fallout." As the mother of two sons, I am very appreciative of the enlightenment you have provided. I believe I'm *fairly* good at encouraging connectedness and vulnerability with my boys, but I can certainly use improvement, and I suspect their father is covertly depressed (one of the reasons we're no longer married). At any rate, thank you.

My comment about your work is that it seems to be reactive, as most self-help relationship advice is. Having been married once, I'm most concerned about getting the next one "right," if you will. Or at least being on strong footing. There are plenty of us who are involved in relationships that are not yet long term (whatever that magic period of time is) nor contractual (i.e. marriage) who face many of the same issues. So, one falls in love with a person who, from all signs (though I'm not a mental health professional) is covertly depressed. I suspect this because my love has recently experienced some trauma that has resulted in what I think is overt depression. He has confessed that he believes he is depressed, but he has all but excluded me from his life, except via electronic media. I'm deeply in love, but my feeling is that there's no relationship here unless/until he acknowledges his illness and seeks help, which of course he's reluctant to seek. Do I have any leverage here in terms of getting him to seek help? How to encourage it? The threat of leaving is obviously not a threat. And yet, I believe I am special to him. I don't feel I'm deluding myself, that's not my style. I do believe that it's possible his estranged 17-yr old daughter is a result of his covert depression, and part of the trauma resulting in overt depression. Help?

Black Chat Line

This blog is so good. Keep it coming. More power!

S. Walsh

Fantastic article! I can't wait for Part 2!

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